With the Grandpa Shine

I think I might make this look like all I meet are really wonderful and charming homeless people. Yep, just said that. I just want to assure you all that I do go through a strick screening process before I go to lunch with these people. It usually involves the same guide lines as one would use while choosing a Taxi. If they smell like beer, probably choose a different cab. If they are bleeding from an open wound- might be a good idea to make sure you are all up to date on your shots. And if they are passed out on the street then their Taxi is probably unmanned somewhere. Really though I am very careful, and it is remarkably easy to do this. Just yesterday I approached a man who Looked down on his luck. When I set forth my terms for a meal he tired to hit me with his empty rum bottle he had hidden in his folds of wool and camouflage blankets. This to me is a good indication that he isn't into talking, so I moved on. Pretty simple right?

On to bigger and better things; Frederick. This guy was nice. I dont mean just any nice, like he will give you his soiled shirt right of his back. When we were getting ready to take his photo he insisted on cleaning up a bit. He did this because he wanted to make my picture "real nice". Much like my failed attempt with mr. crabby pants yesterday Frederick produced a fine comb from the void of blankets he was in and did a smart ol' job brushing that hair of his. And this was much less sinister.

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Frederick passed on some pretty good words of advice for me to live by, and I believe this jolly ol fellow would have done this even with out he meal I promised.  One Perticular lesson I learned - and all of you reading could learn from as well, is how to get a free laundry day. How is this seemingly impossible task accomplished one might ask? Well its simple really. You get arrested. When you go to jail for the night they take all of your cloths and wash them, for free. Yep you heard me correctly - free. First you need to put on as many layers as possible to really maximize your free laundry experience. He was just chalk full of good ideas like these. It kills me.

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He also taught me about the different factions of the street which I actually found insanely interesting. He taught me all about which groups are fine by each other and which ones arnt. He said he has two ladies in completely different groups and it works because they stay so far away from each other. The house of Chaos (which is a half way house named by the homeless because of all the craziness that goes down) and the Division streeters dont get along well so they stay well away from each other... I feel like this is a set up for a new Grand Theft Auto video game.... Chose your factions wisely or suffer the consequences... 

He's a man with all the answers but still a man who remains on the streets. How do you figure that? Those eyes cant lie. I'm going to go out on a limb with this one and say that this guy is genuinely happy, and despite my foolproof screening process I would without a doubt get into his cab anyday.

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away." 

-Henry David Thoreau